Confession: I never finished reading the Harry Potter series. I
plan to, but I haven’t yet. Recently, however, my husband and I pretty much
marathoned the movies. I like books better than movies, and so there’s a little
piece of me that’s dead inside because I succumbed to my desire for immediate
fulfillment and watched the movies before I read the books. And now I have no
idea how the movies measure up, and no way of ever truly knowing, because my
memories of the movies will interfere with my imagination as I read the books.
#booknerdproblems.
Anyway. Remember the part at the end where Harry lets Voldemort
kill him? (Sorry for the spoilers… But I figure that if a movie is five years
old, it’s fair game). Remember how Harry has to die in order to defeat
Voldemort, how the only way for him to really live is for him to die first?
It’s the ultimate contradiction, right? Authors love this stuff. I love this
stuff. Interestingly, even God loves this stuff. God is all about impossible contradictions,
and He really loves the ultimate contradiction.
It’s so easy for the gospel of Christ to get covered up by conflict
– and Christians are just as guilty of covering it up as anyone else. The thing
is, though, that even when it’s not obscured, it’s just hard for us to wrap our
minds around. We like the idea of overcoming our perceived faults, but that’s
not what Jesus offers. Jesus offers to make us into completely new creatures – and that’s all He will do. He won’t do
it halfway. To live in Christ means total
surrender. C.S. Lewis (as always) says it so well:
“Christ says, ‘Give me All. I don’t want so much of your
time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not
come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any
good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have
the whole tree down. I don’t want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it,
but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you
think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked – the whole outfit. I will
give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall
become yours.”
Wait a minute. All of my innocent desires?? Everything?? Kill my natural self? It
doesn’t make sense. If those are the things that you are thinking, you’re
right. It doesn’t make sense. What
seems to make more sense is to accept ourselves as we are. And that, my
friends, is where God shows just how much He loves this greatest of all
contradictions. If you’re getting stuck on the idea of the killing of your
natural self, stay with me. You’re right – it sounds crazy, unhealthy – stupid,
even. God knew that it would sound that way to us. In fact, the apostle Paul
addressed this to some extent in 1 Corinthians 1:18-31.
“For the
word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are
being saved it is the power of God. For it is written, ‘I will
destroy the wisdom of the wise, And the cleverness of the clever I will set
aside.’ Where is the wise man? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of
this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For
since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not come to know God, God was
well-pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who
believe. For indeed Jews ask for signs and Greeks search for wisdom; but we
preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness,
but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God
and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and
the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brethren,
that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many
noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise,
and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are
strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has
chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so
that no man may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who
became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification, and
redemption, so that, just as it is written, ‘Let him who boasts, boast in the
Lord.’”
It doesn’t make sense. I know. And I don’t know how
to explain to you that it does make sense in the end. What I can do is tell you
that it works. I can tell you that I’ve been brought to the moment of complete
surrender, to the moment of allowing my natural self to be killed. What
happened after that moment was amazing, and continues to amaze me. The
transformation happens gradually, and so there are still bits of my natural
self that show through and are ugly. The thing is, though, that my sin no longer defines me. I can
confess it freely, knowing that it will be conquered in the end, that it is my
enemy. It also ceases to define those
around me. When you’ve been loosed from the chains of your sin, you see the
chains on the people around you. Yes, they’re guilty. Yes, they’ve made stupid
and horrible choices. But now, I see that each of those choices becomes a
chain. The gospel of Christ breaks those chains. You’re no longer chained to
your choices. Before I encountered the saving power of Jesus, I didn’t see the
chains – my own chains or the chains of others. All I saw were the choices that
defined the people. I saw the choice the alcoholic makes to take the next
drink. I didn’t see that each time s/he chooses the drink, it becomes a chain
that compels the next drink. The power to choose vaporizes, and the compulsion
becomes the authority. The grace of Christ that changes my heart daily opens my
eyes to the chains – to the victimization that is the purpose of sin. It makes
me abhor my sin, which, promising pleasure, delivers death and captivity. And
it’s because of that that I can sing this song by a man named Dennis Jernigan:
“Your love ravages my heart and leaves
me bare.
My heart laid waste - My heart left
naked standing there.
Lord, if suffering means winning, means
death to flesh and sinning,
Lead
me there - in Your care.
I’m not able - But You are able
To bring forth life thru any suffering
or loss.
No, I’m not able - but
You are able.
When I am shaken, what’s left standing
is Your cross.
I’m devastated by Your love - Like a
child, I need You near
To hold my hurting heart close to Your
heart when I would fear.
The devastation of Your love has left
me broken once again.
So faithful are the woundings of a
Father.
Faithful
are the woundings of a Friend.”
So many people are turned away from
Christ because of an interaction they’ve had with a church or with an
individual Christian. Please, let me say to you – I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we
still allow our prideful, selfish habits to direct our actions. I’m sorry that
we have forgotten the chains and see only the choices.
All of us find ourselves acting in ways
that we wish we didn’t. We decide over and over and over again that this is the
last time – the last drink, the last look at pornography, the last angry
outburst, the last thrown punch, the last needle, the last strip tease, the
last dishonest numbers, the last cut. If you’re defeated in your efforts to
change over and over and over again – those are the chains that I’m talking
about. Thing is though, Jesus won’t only break the chains you see and hate –
He’ll break the ones you don’t see and that you like, because He knows they’ll
only kill you in the end. Saying “Yes” to Jesus means a complete change of
mind. Everything thing you think about yourself and about other people is in
for a surprise. The water here is good – but it’s not because it’s comfortable
– it is water of “suffering that means death to flesh and sinning.” It’s good
because you can finally see both the danger and
the way out. You’re finally swimming with the Guide who conquered the danger.
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