Light in the Darkness

Have we forgotten about people?

This is a troubling time in our world – acts of aggression or terror are almost the new norm. I can’t stand reading the news. When I pull up CNN, NBC, ABC, FOX, or any other news source, I’m greeted with macabre descriptions of unthinkable, appalling acts taking place in every country across the globe. Children are being raped and killed. Families are devastated. Stray bombshells are taking out innocent bystanders. Places and events that should be an enjoyable escape from daily pressures are being destroyed by active shooting. I’m afraid for our world. I grieve over the depravity. I look out over the world, and it seems very bleak. Where is the joy?

I also can hardly stand my Facebook feed recently. With each new tragedy, people are opportunistically turning each aggressive act into a platform for their pet issue. Gun rights people say, “See, even a country with strict gun control like France has a mass shooting, so gun control won’t solve any problems.” Gun control people say, “If we crack down on gun control, we’ll reduce the number of mass shootings – it’s basic math. Fewer guns out there mean fewer shootings.” I’m so done with it. Listen, I understand that something has to give. I know that current events mean that laws may need to adapt to changing times. I know that the “other side” makes you mad with their uncanny knack for seeing the same tragedy you do from a different point of view. Francis Schaeffer wrote in his book, How Should We Then Live? ”When freedom destroys order, the yearning for order will destroy freedom.” Maybe it’s time for a little less freedom in order to restore order. I don’t know what the answer is. I do know that I’m tired of this.

My heart is broken. When did we forget people in this mess? You know that idiot who wrote the diatribe that stepped on your toes and made you angry? S/he is a person - a real person, complete with ideals, dreams, and feelings. The Syrian refugees? They are real people who are running from horrible terror and persecution. Those who are afraid of letting the refugees into our country? They are real people who are feeling the very human, very understandable emotion of fear. You know the victims of all of these mass shootings that are happening right now? Yep. People. People who will never get to fulfill those dreams they dreamed. People who leave behind – you guessed it – more people. They leave behind families and friends who will always have giant scars on their hearts that will never quite heal. I cry for the mothers who will never again hold their children in their arms, for the lovers who will never again meet in this life, for the children who close their eyes at night to nightmares of their parents being gunned down. These people are suffering deeply. Even the perpetrators of these horrible events are people. They are people who are ill, radicalized, misguided, or yes, purely wicked. They must be stopped, but they are still people. Even though we all feel that something must change and that all of this must end, let’s not put issues in front of people.

You see, in a time when some are set on ending physical lives, so many of us seem to be in the business of cutting people so deeply with our words that they may never recover. It seems especially bad right now, because we’re in the middle of presidential election frenzy here in the United States – while all of these horrific events are taking place around the world. We want a president who will keep us safe, and we all have different ideas about what that looks like. The stakes are high, the tension is thick, and the nerves are raw. Maybe it’s time for everyone to take a social media hiatus until the dust clears.

I want to take a minute to talk to Christians in the United States now. If you’re not a Christian or if you are not from the United States, you’re welcome to continue reading of course, but I’m going to address this next portion specifically to Christians in the United States.

Christians – I think we’ve gotten a little confused. In a country where freedom is valued above all, we’ve lost our way. We value our freedom to speak our minds, to worship freely, to exercise church, family, and personal autonomy, the tax exempt status of our churches, and so many other freedoms. Along the way, we’ve become fragmented, and have forgotten the ways that Jesus said the world would know us. In John 17, Jesus prayed for Christian unity – that our unity would be one of the ways that the world would know we were from Him. Do you know what the world sees now when it looks on Christian faith? Dissention. Church splits. People who can’t agree. Instead of shining the light of Christ, we are placing it under a basket with our argumentativeness. The answer to all that is wrong in the world is Christ – but the people who wear His name are hiding Him in their tight grasp on religious freedom, their fear, and their arguments. Please, let’s stop obscuring Christ with our fighting. Remember that that “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places,” (Ephesians 6:12).

Also, Christians – Jesus said that everyone who follows after him will suffer. And our suffering with Him is another way that the world can know Him. When we suffer the way He suffered, we look like Him. We demonstrate in a tangible, unforgettable way that our hope is somewhere else, that it is real, and that is in something far greater than our suffering. Why are we so focused on our freedoms here in the United States? Rather, focus your energies on being like Christ – on bolstering your faith so that you can suffer for His name. If we are like Him, we will suffer. (Let me say briefly that preparing to suffer does NOT mean developing a thick skin and a sharp tongue – it means becoming meek – ready to look at the one who hurts you with love, letting them see Christ in your eyes. How did Christ suffer? Learn to suffer with the same grace in you). I sometimes wonder if, when Satan saw that he couldn’t defeat the Way with persecution, he thought to himself, “I know how to ruin Christ – I’ll make it easy to claim Christianity. That way, people will flock to the title of Christian. Those whose hearts and lives are really changed by Christ’s Spirit will get lost in the throng of those who pay lip service, and the world will define Christian by the masses. Christ will be obscured by the very people who claim to bear His name. Genius.” It’s scary to think about. Stop obscuring the name of Christ. Be like Him. Shine His light – not your pet issues or doctrines – out into the bleak darkness of a world filled with hopeless violence and aggression. Suffer for His name. Be proven Real for the sake of the true gospel. Live the good news.

Dealing with the Scars of Past Sin

When I was a teen, I was caught up in the "When God Writes Your Love Story," and "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" craze that swept through evangelical teenage female lives and graced many pink bedroom shelves. I believed would *never* fall prey to sexual sin - I would never even kiss a man before I married him. I was too strong. "True love waits," I thought, and I was sure I would wait. After all, I had The Truth. I knew what the Bible said. I was good at obedience. And yet, all of my strength, all of my reading, all of my preparation, all of the teaching I had received wasn't enough. Almost ten years ago, I met the man who would be my undoing. He flirted, cajoled, and flattered me until I gave in. When we broke up seven months later, I was used and broken, a virgin only in a technical sense.

The Lord blessed me with a period of blissful healing. I served Him faithfully. I felt that I had been forgiven much, and I loved much. I knew firsthand the Grace of God. I marveled at how quickly and completely I had healed from my sins and from an abusive relationship. But that is never the end. The guilt came back. Over and over and over again. Tonight, I read this blog post, and I was drawn by this  paragraph:

"Its true you will never restore your first purity. But I fear we may be giving this sin too much power. It is a sin. It is not an unforgivable sin.  When we accept it, truth is that the blood of lamb covers it, restores it, heals it and redeems it. That means we get a second chance. We get a new life. We get spiritual purification."

Why would I write this? Because it's raw. Because Christians have to be real with each other. Because church is not a place where we go when we're perfect. Because Christ came to carry our sin. Because I'm relatively good at looking like I have it all together, and I don't. Because there are girls out there who are falling even though they were sure they never would. Because there are girls who are hurting because of their hidden sin. Because Jesus said, "Freely you have received, freely give" and I have received much forgiveness. Because if you are broken right now because of sexual sin, I want to help - I've walked that road. Because if you are contemplating sexual sin, I want to help - I've walked that road too. Don't look around your churches and see pews of people who would "never do" what you have done or are contemplating. There is someone there who has done what you have done. Probably lots of someones.

There is healing. Jesus loves you and wants to heal you. Your sin is not unforgivable. Your sin can be covered by the Blood.

A Fresh Beginning

Well, this is it. The beginning of a new year. This day marks a new beginning. The beginning of resolutions, of a fresh start, of a blank slate. This is the year in which I leave my twenties behind, in which I begin my final year of graduate school, in which I (hopefully) publish my first original research paper, and in which a number of unforeseen things will happen that will shape the trajectory of the rest of my life. What things are you looking forward to this year?

2014 was a challenging year. I attended three research conferences, taught a variety of biology and physiology lectures, took my qualifying exam, sang in four concerts, taught bible classes, experienced family upheaval, cried, laughed, made friends, grew friendships, watched my best friend experience the joy of motherhood for the first time, traveled to visit my grandparents twice, attempted to watch my brother get married, but was thwarted by Traffic that held me at a standstill for two hours, and so many other things. I started 2014 with a list of goals for the year. There were twelve books to read, and twelve other goals, including fitness, academic, and financial goals. I’m looking back at my list now – and I think I accomplished four of my twelve main goals. That’s ok. I’m setting new goals this year.

New years make us think of new beginnings, and that’s a good thing. A brand new year, with no mistakes in it – yet. Here’s the thing. We’re all going to blow at least some of the resolutions we make. I spent a number of years just not making resolutions, because then I wouldn’t disappoint myself by breaking them. That didn’t work very well either. You know what’s amazing? Every single day, every single hour, every single minute, every single second is a fresh beginning. So, set your goals this year. If you achieve them perfectly without cheating on that diet, or sleeping in when you were supposed to get on the treadmill, or missing a day in your daily bible reading plan, good for you. The rest of us will need to remind ourselves that fresh beginnings come more often than once a year. That’s one of the things I love about the God I serve – He doesn’t ask me to be perfect on my own. He knows that I can’t be – and that’s why He sent His Son. Jesus makes up the difference when I don’t hit perfection. So, when I sin this year, or when I fail to say just the right thing or choose just the right path, I’m going to admit that. I’m going to tell Him that I’m sorry, that I want to change, and then I’m going to set about letting Him change me. I’m going to set about trying all over again, and about accepting the power of His grace in my life, about telling Him “Thank You” for each fresh start. Because knowing that His grace will make me good motivates me more and more to find goodness and to emulate it in my life.

So, today, with this fresh start, I have goals for my relationship with my God, for my role in His church, for my physical fitness, for my finances, and for my professional life. I want very much to be a better Christian, a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better person. I have goals to be more patient, more kind, more gentle, more loving, more direct, less fearful, more one with Him who made me. I want to publish three papers, begin writing a thesis, read my bible through at least once, teach children’s bible classes at least two quarters, work up to running a 10K or maybe even a half marathon, pay off some small debts, eat more healthy foods, and read a variety of books from a variety of genres. I want to blog at least three times a week. I want to try at least three new recipes every month. I want to find more joy in small things. I could keep going, but I’m overwhelming myself. I’ve always been a big dreamer – and I find that dreaming big brings me closer to meeting goals than not dreaming at all.

What are your dreams for the New Year? What resolutions are you setting for yourself?

In the next few weeks, I hope to blog about teaching children’s bible classes, as well as about some practical ways to make those changes in relationships and attitudes. Stay tune, and God bless!