Contentment

“…I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.” – Philippians 4:11-12

Do you ever wonder what contentment in all circumstances is supposed to look like?  Me too. Is contentment supposed to cancel out or diminish desire? Contentment is a difficult thing for all of us, I think. It’s something I’ve been reaching for with more and more difficulty lately. What is that one thing with which you struggle to be content? For me, it’s singleness. I’ll probably talk about that more than anything in this post because that’s my personal struggle, but I’ll try not to get stuck there – because contentment can come no matter your particular brand of discontent.

Let’s start with what discontentment looks like. Sometimes, descriptions of the opposite give us a better handle on the thing for which we’re striving. Often, the thing we desire isn’t bad: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22. I think that probably applies to both women and men and husbands and wives. God chose not to leave the first man alone, but fashioned a wife for him, saying, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” – Genesis 2:18.

In part, discontentment is a perversion of desire. Think about this: if the thing I desire is good – how can discontentment with my current state be bad?  I’m pretty sure the answer lies with my focus.  God says in Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” If I delight myself in the Lord, my desires align with His. I can trust that He will choose what is best for me, and can relax in the knowing that He sees a bigger picture than I do. The Hebrew writer tells us, “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross…” – Hebrews 12:1-2. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Jesus endured horrible things – because He knew about the coming joy. So do we. God has promised joy for those who serve him. No matter my present circumstance, fixing my gaze on Jesus and the joy He promises at the end will give the strength for endurance.

Ok, so if discontentment is a perversion of desire for a good thing, and if the way to overcome that is to focus on the Lord, what does that look like?? I like practical help. And when the pain of loneliness is so crushingly strong that it feels as if my heart would burst right out of its home in my chest (because no matter your particular brand of desire – sometimes it’s just that strong), I have difficulty figuring out how to snap my focus back to where it belongs. For me, distraction is often crucial. Many of the things I’ll list below are distraction in disguise.

Phone a friend. Ask him/her about his/her day. Tell them a funny story. Let them in on your struggle and ask them to pray for you, and then tell them you need them to help distract you from the Monster Discontent that threatens your sanity. See if they’re free to go out or for you to visit for a few minutes.

Watch a movie. Single ladies – Hallmark movies and movies based on Nicholas Sparks novels don’t work here. As tempting as it is to wallow in your discontentment, if you’re choosing this mode of distraction, choose something with more depth and less gush.

Sing hymns. Even if you’re alone. The power of words of praise set to music astounds me. Sing the same hymn over and over if it’s the only one that comes to mind. Or sing several of them in a row. Singing hymns of praise often helps me to shift my focus to the glory and greatness of God and away from myself.

Clean. Yep. This one works for me too – especially if there’s some form of music in the background.

Make a meal and take it to someone. This requires time, but it gives you an opportunity to serve, and if you’re lucky, the recipient will invite you to share it with them.

Pray. Do pray for strength to overcome your discontentment. Don’t get stuck on that prayer. I’ve often been impressed with King David and the prayers he prayed recorded for us in the Psalms. Many of the lamentation style psalms end in praise. David gives his hurt to God with brutal honesty, and allows prayer to change him, to remind him of God’s greatness. Psalms 28, 31, and 69 are wonderful examples of this.

Pick a book of the Bible and read the whole thing in one sitting. This one has saved me several times, probably because it takes my focus off of myself and reminds me of the power and greatness of the God I serve.

Admit to yourself and others that you are hurting and discontent. Just do it. Don’t try to pretend that you live in that magical world of unicorns and rainbows. This life hurts sometimes. The power of confession is real, and it is freeing.

I hope these thoughts are helpful. Until next time.